I wasn't quite sure about dates - so we had ESTIMATED due dates from March 1 - March 8th. I always "go past" the date, and my midwife likes to pick the last date so we aren't sitting around twiddling our thumbs…as much. So March 8, baby 3 is "due". (I hate that term)
My due date was on a Saturday, that whole week I was trying to do natural things, to encourage labor. The night of March 5 into the 6th, I had mild contractions that kept waking me up, preventing me much sleep. On March 6 at 8:45 PM I texted my midwife:
"Did chiro and acupunctures (and steps) Kris took me to…..Fudruckers for dinner. After chiro and acupuncture very very intense contractions coming in a rhythm. I'm not timing but my guess 8-10 min. Almost home then going to bed. Reminds me of how Natalie's labor started. Contractions just like this at Fudruckers around 9 PM. Went home to bed, gave up sleeping around 4 am, went to hospital around 9 am."
I knew this was finally going to turn into the real thing, and expected a baby by the next day. Or so I thought….
Friday March 7, at 5:52 am, I text my midwife:
"I've been awake since 11:30 PM working through contractions, usually in bed because they are strong enough I can't sleep. They remain 8-9 minutes apart and after all these hours aren't getting closer. Any ideas on how to speed this up? I've never had this happen before. After one night of bad sleep and last night of 1 1/2 hours of sleep I'm pretty tired and don't want to deal with it again tonight."
It's a good thing God doesn't really tell us the future….because I was getting into…just what I didn't want to get into. Another night (night 3) of no sleep.
My midwife texted back suggestions to get get the baby's head in place. Later she texted:
"Do you want me to come over"
My response:
"I think I'm ok"
We conversed back and forth about suggestions on what to do to get things moving along. At 11:00 am I get:
I feel like I should come check on you. Go ahead and get started and I will head your way shortly. I'll be there 12:30 ish"
See…those are signs of a good midwife! A trained midwife that puts aside whatever she had going on that day because she has a gut feeling she should come see her client.
I had a constant pain in my side. My midwife thought maybe gas? Told me on the phone to drink Apple Cider Vinegar. I hate the taste of vinegar, and back out it came with whatever I ate that day.
My midwife and her assistant showed up around 1:00 PM ish. We did natural things to get labor going, homeo-pathics, using a breast pump, bouncing on a birthing ball. I continuously had mild irritable contractions through out the day. I was mentally going down hill, wondering what is going on. My midwife had checked my cervix and I had barely started to dilate. And I mean barely. Around 4:00 PM on the 7th, I wanted to get outside. I needed fresh air and a change of scenery. My husband and I took a walk down our long lane. I had to stop and lean on him through contractions. This is a good sign! We walked for about 20-30 minutes. Him telling me what he wants to do with the fence around the pasture, me breathing through contractions.
When we got back, I think that is when my midwife and her assistant realized, ok, this is turning into real active labor….finally.
My husband cooked us spaghetti (with our homemade canned sauce..mmm) and my husband and I sat down with my midwife and her assistant for dinner. Contractions continued, very strong, getting strong enough where I am humming and moaning through them.
Sometime after dinner, my midwife checks me…I'm a whopping 2 cm dilated. That was a big blow considering how hard my body is working. The baby's head was not engaged in my pelvis, encouraging dilation.
The sun went down, my midwife and assistant continued to monitor me and baby. around 10 or 11 PM I took a shower. The girls were with my parents, freeing up their bunk bed. So guess where the birthing team set up camp! ;)
When I got out of the shower, all the lights were off, my husband in bed (not really asleep) and the birthing team resting as they should be. Nobody was doing anything wrong, but an emotional pregnant woman in labor going into her 3rd night of very little sleep…I about lost it. Everybody is resting and I'm working my tail off, and I am beat tired. My emotional state was going down hill…and fast. Mostly due to lack of sleep.
I have a bachelor's degree….I did all nighters during college. I have 2 kids, I understand lack of sleep and bad nights. I have never been to this point of exhaustion in my life, on top of working through contractions. The contractions were still intense, but never getting closer together, probably around 6 minutes apart.
The evening continued, my midwife and her assistant taking turns monitoring me and baby while the other one rested, my husband in and out of bed, giving me support. Intense contractions continued, but did not get closer together. Eventually in the wee hours of the morning, a cervix check was done to fine I was a 4. Seriously?? a 4??? I wanted to die. And I'm serious. Not from pain, from an emotional state I have never experienced before. I felt like I was loosing myself. I believe this is all from lack of sleep.
My midwife sat my husband and I down. She said we need to make a decision. We can continue on laboring at home. My stats were good and baby's stats were good. But, I'm a 4, labor will probably continue on for another 6+ hours. We have no clue how long. Or, we can go to the hospital, I can get the epidural (you know the one word that every home birth natural laboring mom stays clear of!) and sleep until I'm a 10, get the rest I need to keep it together, and push this baby out!
She left the bedroom to allow my husband and I talk. I fell apart. I melted into a puddle on our bed. And I'm tearing up as I write this, remembering it all. Kris held me as I cried, and cried, and cried. The back of my head I was screaming…let's go…let's go now! I want relief so I can sleep. I have had a home birth before, a beautiful water birth. The pool was set up, the birthing supplies set out, all ready for baby 3. I wanted it so bad. But I felt like the worlds' biggest failure. Kris and I talked, and we agreed to go to the hospital so I could get relief and sleep. My midwife came in, I told her decision…and then I fell apart again. She said "You are not a failure for doing this". I told her that's what I feel like. And then, God gave her the perfect words for me at that time. I don't remember the exact words but it was something like…
I think you are making a smart decision. An Epidural is a tool, a tool that is overly used. In this instance, an epidural is good idea, giving you the rest you need to continue, instead of tuckering out at the last minute and then we are really in trouble.
She brought me out of that failure mentality, and we began packing for the hospital. I didn't have anything ready to go, after one successful home birth, I never thought I'd be one of those "hospital transfers". Since it was not an emergency, we could take our time…and pack our stuff in Walmart bags since our luggage was in storage.
Around 3:00 am we left for the hospital. I texted both of our moms:
"On way to cox south. Not an emergency. Hard hard labor and I'm only a 4. Baby's head must be funny bc I'm slow dilating. Night 3 of labor and no sleep. Debbie thinks it is a good idea for me to get an epidural to sleep. Don't come yet as I need rest. Kris will keep you updated."
Stay tuned for part 2. Part 2 has great professional labor/birth pictures. I planned on having a birth photographer present for the labor/birth. We never called her to our house (which I now regret) because my contractions were not close together so I don't have any from laboring at home.
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