Homeschool 2013-2014 {review of the year}

2013-2014 was our first year of doing any type of real "homeschooling".  And by schooling, I use that term very loosely.  I bought a "box curriculum" and we did it when it was convenient.  We had a loose schedule, and at age 4.....I didn't push it.  (or 3 when she actually started) I'm going to list what we did, and my thoughts.  This is so I can look back on it and judge what to do for the next child at this age (it will probably be totally different with different personalities) but also maybe you are curious for your preschooler of different options.

1) Little Hands to Heaven by Heart of Dakota

 The book says for ages 2-5.  During this school year my oldest was 3 1/2 and turned 4 January 1st.  Just to give you an idea.  It gives you different options of Bibles, use your own or choose from different kid Bibles.  I purchased New Bible in Pictures for Little Eyes.  That was the perfect Bible to use and we still use it.  It also recommends purchasing a letter book, out of the 3 options I choose Big Thoughts for Little People.  Love it, that was a great pick.  Natalie loves the fingerplay exercises to help learn the letters and their meaning.  I really enjoy their devotions and how it weaves the Bible into all subjects.  I like their art projects.  (I am art stupid)

Cons: It has a LOT of "dramatic play" acting out the Bible story.  Natalie just isn't into that.  So we skipped it.  I also did not like the music it came with. Natalie had a hard time catching onto the words.  However, I teach music at a Homeschoolers Academy and I use the CD frequently with my 6/7 and 8/9 classes.  Seems more appropriate and easier for them.

It is lacking in fine motor skills for Natalie.  I had to supplement.  It also does not have "strong" writing lessons, very basic.  So once again, I had to supplement.

Final thoughts: This is a great program.  I'm glad I purchased it.  I had to do more "beefing up" than I wanted to.  For my next kiddo, she's about to turn 2.  I will wait until the school year where she is 3 and start this with her.  She will be 3 the entire school year and I think this will suit her perfectly.


2. A, B, C, D, books by Rod and Staff  I

If there is anything that I did right this year, it is these very simple but awesome work books.  And seriously, all these books for less than $10?!?!  You can't go wrong.  This was a huge hit with Natalie, and we are almost done with them.  If anything...I would say this is my "must have" books for preschool if your child likes workbooks.  (mine does!) We plan to continue in these books for another year, just the next series of them.

Final thoughts: Get it...these are great and you can't beat the price!

3. My First book of Upper Letters by Kummon

We started this book this summer.  I bought the lower case books as well.  While I don't think a 4 year old has to know how to write, mine does so why stop her.  I came across these work books at Barnes N Noble.  Once again, my kid is a "work book" kid, and many kids aren't.  Find what works for you.  She really enjoys this book and I have seen an improvement in her writing and fine motor skills.  I really don't know "how" to teach writing.  There's lots of resources and different methods.

Final thoughts: I like it, it is working...but I don't know a lot about teaching handwriting so I don't know how it compares to different methods/books/etc.

Final thoughts on the year?  Overall good.  Having a baby mid Spring semester threw us off.  But I'm not too concerned.  This fall we will be starting a different curriculum and she will be doing "K4".  Whatever you want to interpret that as.  I view it as, more than preschool, but simplified kindergarten?

Jonah's Birth Story part 3 {Grieving a birth that didn't go as planned}

I really need to wrap his story up.  I've been procrastinating because this is the part I don't like, and also just super busy with 3 kids 4 and under.  Let's see…..

They discharged us from the hospital a day early since we were an intended home birth and Jonah and I were doing just fine.  I believe I was there for about 36 hours.  Not too bad.  When we got home, we were exhausted and just trying to process having a newborn.  The first couple of days weren't bad.  We were on our "high" of having a baby and enjoying him.  The day after we got home, the girls returned to us and the adjustment of 3 kids began.

We left our house to go to the hospital in the heat of labor.  So everything was left sitting out, the birthing pool ready to be filled, the box of birth supplies that had barely been touched.  The evidence of an active birth, just sitting there staring at us.

It was probably the second or third day of being home when the "high of I gave birth in a hospital bathroom" wore off and reality set in.  Here were all the supplies that I was anxious to use.  The biggest reminder, the gigantic birthing pool waiting for me at the foot of our bed.  I couldn't touch it, I tried to ignore all of it.  I melted down one day when we were expecting my midwife for a home postpartum visit.  I figured we should take down the pool and give it back to her for the next client that needs it.  I went through my unused birthing supplies.  Kept what little I might want in the near future, and donating the rest for another client that this would bless.  An anonymous client donated most of her birthing supplies (because her birth went so fast she didn't use it!) and I was the lucky recipient.  That was a big financial blessing.  Time to pass the blessing on.  Going through the supplies, one item at a time, brought back memories of my beautiful home birth with Emri and what we missed out on with Jonah.

There were a lot of emotions running through my head.  Was I a failure?  What did I do wrong? What could have I of done differently?  If we have another, will it be like this again?  Leading up the Jonah's birth, I was getting more and more excited about that moment of bringing the baby up to my chest in the pool, the immediate relief of when you first get into the warm water.  The teamwork that happens between my birthing team to keep me comfortable and mom and baby healthy and safe.  I experienced this all with Emri.  I wanted it again.  That's what I signed up for. I transferred to the hospital for non medical reasons, because I was tired.  I had 2 1/2 days of labor (not all of it active labor).  Almost 3 nights of no sleep. I was loosing myself, I was in a mentality state I had never experienced before.

I have had 3 healthy pregnancies, 3 healthy babies.  It never crossed my mind during this pregnancy that I might have to go to the hospital.  Sure, we talked about it and made the emergency plan with my birthing team, but it never hit me seriously that this "really could happen".

The day I came home, my midwife met me at my house for a checkup. She was (and is) so wonderful, she stopped at a natural health food store and made up a jar of herbs for me for bathing in for postpartum healing.  We talked along time, going over what happened and the events of things.  The fact she checked me before packing for the hospital and I was a 4….and when I got to the hospital I was a 9.  There was no way anybody knew that would happen.  And if I had stayed home, I could have still had a long labor and maybe it was the car ride that sped things up.  We don't know, we won't know.  With the situation at hand, we made the best decision we could based on the current circumstances.  That's that.  And that's ok.  (and made a decision that any future long labors for me, we would just go for a car ride and see if that helps progress things! ha!)

I am ok now.  It has taken a couple of months.  But time heals.  I have come to the conclusion:

1) We made the right decision to go to the hospital (since we can't tell the future and didn't know I would progress quickly from that point on)
2) It is ok to grieve your birth if it didn't go as you wanted.  But grieve short term.  Because being happy is sure a heck of a lot better than being sad.
3) I had a not so great hospital experience with Natalie (which led to wanting a home birth with future kids).  The hospital and medical field in general has improved in the world of being baby and mom friendly.  For that, I am so grateful.
4) If there is another pregnancy, Lord willing we will still pursue a home birth
5) Midwives just rock.  That's it.  When I go back and think of the last week of pregnancy…my midwife spent days and nights at our house.  Was with me almost every day for an entire week.  I am so thankful for her, and her team.  (So thankful…that I now work in her office!)

That's that.  And now I have a beautiful almost 4 month old son, that his sisters just absolutely adore!

Jonah's Birth Story Part 2

I figured Mother's Day would be a good day to wrap up Jonah's birth story.  You can view part 1 here. The pictures displayed were taken professionally from Sarah Carter Photography.  Please also like her Facebook Page.

We arrived at the hospital I think around 4:00 am?!?  We got checked in, I got to skip triage because it was very obvious I was in active labor.  My contractions were still strong, but not coming any closer together, maybe every 6 minutes.  They hooked me up to the monitors like usual.  The Dr. chatted with my midwife looking over my prenatal record.  We signed the papers to get an epidural as I was ready to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.  Before the anesthesiologist came in, they checked my dilation progress.  Before leaving for the hospital  I was a 4.  The Dr. said "Uh, you are a 9 with bulgy bag of water!" While everybody was rejoicing and joking that we should just go home,  (I would have loved to, but the thought of delivering in the car during the 40 minute ride home didn't sound appealing) my heart sunk and I thought ooooh noo!  I knew I wouldn't get the epidural, (I prefer natural birth anyways, why I opt for a home birth) but I was TERRIFIED of putting my feet up in those stupid stirrups for pushing.  I had a normal hospital birth with my first child and I KNOW the drill.  Going to the hospital for the epidural, I figured my pain would be knocked out and I could deal with the horrible positioning of the stirrups.  But if I am going to go all natural…that thought scares the dickens out of me.  (I also vividly remember the episiotomy that I felt when giving birth to my first)  I begged my nurse for at least some pain meds in the IV…she verbally agreed, but it was never administered.

I continued laboring.

I went to the bathroom as frequently as possible.  Keeping your bladder empty helps the head to drop (which we were struggling with) and with no epidural, they let me roam the room pretty freely.  

During the last bathroom stop I made, I sat on the toilet and a huge contraction came (normal) and a massive pop/plop sound. My water just broke in the toilet.  It was just my husband in the bathroom with me.  I then started yelling, my midwife came in, then the nurses and doctors.  (My main doctor was a 1st year resident, being accompanied by a 3rd year resident, being overseen by the attending physician, confused?) I started yelling "I"m pooping! I'm pooping!" I felt like I was pushing out the most massive poop I've ever had. (it's a birth story…I'm going to be honest with ya'll!) They got me off the toilet and they could tell my body was pushing the baby, I had no control over what was happening.  

The doctor wanted to move me to the bed.  The nurse was in front of me, my midwife behind me and I remember my nurse saying.  "NO she is delivering..NOW!!!" In this tiny bathroom was myself, my husband, my midwife, at least one nurse, and two doctors.  The doctor that was assigned to me (remember 1st year residency) I think was in shock/panic he didn't know what to do.  What appeared to me, was the nurse and my midwife started taking over.  The nurse (who had previously worked in a hospital that allowed midwives to practice so who is used to natural labors and mamas birthing where they birth!) told me to put my arm around her and my husband and squat.  I tried to do as I was told, my body pushing at the same time. My midwife started  yelling for towels towels! (Hello, slippery baby about to come out!) A small wash cloth was presented…ummm no!  So somebody got a chucks pad.  I squared, continued to push, and my midwife behind me and the doctor in front of my guided the baby out together.  

It was quite a scene.  

Baby was delivered safely and handed immediately to me.  Of course they wanted the cord cut quickly to get me moved to the bed.  This was not what we had wished, but we were in the hospital out of our element.  Daddy got to cut the cord…in the bathroom.

And we made our way to the bed.  

 The doctor asked if anybody had looked at the clock when baby was born.  Nobody had.  My midwife said I got up to go to the bathroom at 6:00, we returned to bed at 6:10, so it is estimated that baby was born at 6:05 am, March 8, 2014.

I had a second degree tear that required stitches.  I think I was the first victim for this residency doctor to stitch…ouch.  And then we cuddled with baby.

Later in the morning, the girls came to see their new baby brother.  We knew his first name would be Michael, but we didn't have a middle name yet (which is what he would go by).  

And then we were a family of 5.  Later that day we decided on Jonah.  Michael Jonah.  See more pictures and a beautiful video here.

We are so thankful for a safe and healthy delivery.  It did not go as planned, but we got quite the birth story out of it!  I never thought I would be a home birth that turned into a hospital transfer, but I can not tell you how thankful I am that my midwife was still an active part of my labor in the hospital, and even helped catch Jonah while he was born.  With all that said, I had a difficult time when I came home from the hospital, seeing all the unused home birth supplies, the birthing pool in our bedroom waiting to be filled with water, and grieving the birth we didn't have.  Stay tuned for part 3 of Jonah's birth story, explaining what it is like to grieve a birth that didn't go as planned.  

Baby Jonah's Birth Story….part 1

I figured there is no better way to start up the blog…again…for the upteenth millionth time, than to share our newest member of the family's birth story.  You really want to stick around for the whole story.  The quick version, he was an intended home birth, that resulted in a non emergency hospital transfer, then born in the hospital bathroom.  Interested?  Stick around….

I wasn't quite sure about dates - so we had ESTIMATED due dates from March 1 - March 8th.  I always "go past" the date, and my midwife likes to pick the last date so we aren't sitting around twiddling our thumbs…as much.  So March 8, baby 3 is "due".  (I hate that term)

My due date was on a Saturday, that whole week I was trying to do natural things, to encourage labor.  The night of March 5 into the 6th, I had mild contractions that kept waking me up, preventing me much sleep.  On March 6 at 8:45 PM I texted my midwife:

"Did chiro and acupunctures (and steps) Kris took me to…..Fudruckers for dinner.  After chiro and acupuncture very very intense contractions coming in a rhythm.  I'm not timing but my guess 8-10 min.  Almost home then going to bed.  Reminds me of how Natalie's labor started.  Contractions just like this at Fudruckers around 9 PM.  Went home to bed, gave up sleeping around 4 am, went to hospital around 9 am."

I knew this was finally going to turn into the real thing, and expected a baby by the next day.  Or so I thought….

Friday March 7, at 5:52 am, I text my midwife:

"I've been awake since 11:30 PM working through contractions, usually in bed because they are strong enough I can't sleep.  They remain 8-9 minutes apart and after all these hours aren't getting closer.  Any ideas on how to speed this up?  I've never had this happen before.  After one night of bad sleep and last night of 1 1/2 hours of sleep I'm pretty tired and don't want to deal with it again tonight."

It's a good thing God doesn't really tell us the future….because I was getting into…just what I didn't want to get into.  Another night (night 3) of no sleep.

My midwife texted back suggestions to get get the baby's head in place.  Later she texted:

"Do you want me to come over"

My response:

"I think I'm ok"

We conversed back and forth about suggestions on what to do to get things moving along. At 11:00 am I get:

I feel like I should come check on you.  Go ahead and get started and I will head your way shortly.  I'll be there 12:30 ish"

See…those are signs of a good midwife!  A trained midwife that puts aside whatever she had going on that day because she has a gut feeling she should come see her client.  

I had a constant pain in my side.  My midwife thought maybe gas?  Told me on the phone to drink Apple Cider Vinegar.  I hate the taste of vinegar, and back out it came with whatever I ate that day.  

My midwife and her assistant showed up around 1:00 PM ish.  We did natural things to get labor going, homeo-pathics, using a breast pump, bouncing on a birthing ball.  I continuously had mild irritable contractions through out the day.  I was mentally going down hill, wondering what is going on.  My midwife had checked my cervix and I had barely started to dilate.  And I mean barely.  Around 4:00 PM on the 7th, I wanted to get outside.  I needed fresh air and a change of scenery.  My husband and I took a walk down our long lane.  I had to stop and lean on him through contractions.  This is a good sign!  We walked for about 20-30 minutes.  Him telling me what he wants to do with the fence around the pasture, me breathing through contractions.  

When we got back, I think that is when my midwife and her assistant realized, ok, this is turning into real active labor….finally.  

My husband cooked us spaghetti (with our homemade canned sauce..mmm) and my husband and I sat down with my midwife and her assistant for dinner.  Contractions continued, very strong, getting strong enough where I am humming and moaning through them.  

Sometime after dinner, my midwife checks me…I'm a whopping 2 cm dilated.  That was a big blow considering how hard my body is working.  The baby's head was not engaged in my pelvis, encouraging dilation. 

The sun went down, my midwife and assistant continued to monitor me and baby.  around 10 or 11 PM I took a shower.  The girls were with my parents, freeing up their bunk bed.  So guess where the birthing team set up camp! ;) 

When I got out of the shower, all the lights were off, my husband in bed (not really asleep) and the birthing team resting as they should be.  Nobody was doing anything wrong, but an emotional pregnant woman in labor going into her 3rd night of very little sleep…I about lost it.  Everybody is resting and I'm working my tail off, and I am beat tired.  My emotional state was going down hill…and fast.  Mostly due to lack of sleep.  

I have a bachelor's degree….I did all nighters during college.  I have 2 kids, I understand lack of sleep and bad nights.  I have never been to this point of exhaustion in my life, on top of working through contractions.  The contractions were still intense, but never getting closer together, probably around 6 minutes apart.  

The evening continued, my midwife and her assistant taking turns monitoring me and baby while the other one rested, my husband in and out of bed, giving me support. Intense contractions continued, but did not get closer together.  Eventually in the wee hours of the morning, a cervix check was done to fine I was a 4.  Seriously?? a 4???  I wanted to die. And I'm serious.  Not from pain, from an emotional state I have never experienced before.  I felt like I was loosing myself.  I believe this is all from lack of sleep.  

My midwife sat my husband and I down.  She said we need to make a decision.  We can continue on laboring at home.  My stats were good and baby's stats were good.  But, I'm a 4, labor will probably continue on for another 6+ hours.  We have no clue how long.  Or, we can go to the hospital, I can get the epidural (you know the one word that every home birth natural laboring mom stays clear of!) and sleep until I'm a 10, get the rest I need to keep it together, and push this baby out!  

She left the bedroom to allow my husband and I talk.  I fell apart.  I melted into a puddle on our bed.  And I'm tearing up as I write this, remembering it all. Kris held me as I cried, and cried, and cried.  The back of my head I was screaming…let's go…let's go now!  I want relief so I can sleep.  I have had a home birth before, a beautiful water birth.  The pool was set up, the birthing supplies set out, all ready for baby 3.  I wanted it so bad. But I felt like the worlds' biggest failure.  Kris and I talked, and we agreed to go to the hospital so I could get relief and sleep.  My midwife came in, I told her decision…and then I fell apart again.  She said "You are not a failure for doing this".  I told her that's what I feel like.  And then, God gave her the perfect words for me at that time.  I don't remember the exact words but it was something like…

I think you are making a smart decision.  An Epidural is a tool, a tool that is overly used.  In this instance, an epidural is good idea, giving you the rest you need to continue, instead of tuckering out at the last minute and then we are really in trouble.  

She brought me out of that failure mentality, and we began packing for  the hospital.  I didn't have anything ready to go, after one successful home birth, I never thought I'd be one of those "hospital transfers".  Since it was not an emergency, we could take our time…and pack our stuff in Walmart bags since our luggage was in storage.  

Around 3:00 am we left for the hospital. I texted both of our moms:

"On way to cox south.  Not an emergency.  Hard hard labor and I'm only a 4.  Baby's head must be funny bc I'm slow dilating.  Night 3 of labor and no sleep.  Debbie thinks it is a good idea for me to get an epidural to sleep.  Don't come yet as I need rest.  Kris will keep you updated." 

Stay tuned for part 2.  Part 2 has great professional labor/birth pictures.  I planned on having a birth photographer present for the labor/birth.  We never called her to our house (which I now regret) because my contractions were not close together so I don't have any from laboring at home.